why you will continue to fail

With it being the new year I thought I would contribute something. And that something is what I am calling the “4 stops.” 

Stop waiting to act. 
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. 
Stop making excuses as to why you have not achieved what you want too.
Stop blaming others for your failures. 

I have a friend that consistently says “don’t talk about it, be about it! And he is absolutely right. Action speaks louder than words. I can sit here saying I am going to do something, but if I fail to act I am just like everybody else, a talker. This is not to imply that I have failed, but in the sense that I have failed to start what it was I set out to do. 

There are numerous quotes of successful people saying not to wait to do. And even more real people how at the end of their lives look backs wondering what could have been. Robert Frost explores this in his poem, The Road Not Traveled. Here he ponders what his life would be like if he went down the path. I looks and examines the possibility and ultimately selects his path because it was “grassy and wanted wear.” But there is an interesting development within and that is the “sigh”:
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by…” It is this regret that causes us to become dissatisfied with our lives. There is nothing worse, I feel, than knowing that you have given up on yourself. Knowing that you have given up on your dreams or goals. And this is a result of you choosing to live though fear. The fear of stepping out from your security blanket and to experience what it is you desire. 

I consistently hear people complain about their work, family, or (fill-in the blank) and yet they never make the effort to change it. Sure there are some things that you can’t change, like the laws of nature. But everything else, I believe, is our choice.

My wife often tells me that being an introvert is my choice and often I argue against that. But let’s just think about that for a second. Is she right? Maybe. I often remain selective on the things I do and those I interact with, but is it choice? If I am able to change my attitude could these fears be changed into something used for my benefit? Possibly, but it all starts with me making a choice. It all depends on me, making a choice. Recently, I had to attend a 6 week long class. Upon reviving this news I was upset and had a negative outlook. Even to the point that the instructed picked up on my non-verbal cues on the first day. (I had my arms crossed and sat leaning back in my chair, as if I was rejecting all attempts to receive the information.) But I made a choice at the end of that day. A choice that I would have a better attitude towards being there. That I would accept my present situation and be willing to work on being positive and active. This did work, but it took effort on my part, effort that was certainly not easy. 

What you need and I both need to figure out is, what our limit of failure is. Are we going to quit when one person tells us no? Or when that bank loan doesn’t get approved, do our dreams end there? Who are we going to talk to in order to achieve what we desire. How many times will we be ignored and continue to move towards your goal. It all depends on how bad we want what it is we seek. And by allowing others to control our outcome we remove all of our say in the process.

I get it, no one like to be told no. And no one likes to have others diminish their contributions to something. But we all have things we enjoy. And some things we are great at, but we must not allow others to control what we do or how we respond. It is our goals that we are pursuing not theirs. If they chose to have a negative attitude toward their our lives, goals and desires, then let them fail.

You and I need to move beyond their narrow mindedness and allow those that want to continue to fail to do so, alone. We can not allow them to bring us down in the process. We have to make a conscience choice to be better. If you want success chose to find success. But do not allow others to control you, for it is your happiness that you will be working towards. 

Ultimately, my  success depends solely upon the willingness to complete what it is that I set out to do. I will fail because I have chosen too. And when I look back upon my life, I want to see all the things that I set out to do, accomplished. There shall be no regret.

-Matt